Blind or simply not Looking?

Do I really not see what had gone by and what is going on in my life? Or am I not aware of my mannerisms on how I treat my self and others by looking away instead of looking within?

I am convinced how being aware is so important. Without it would be very difficult to establish and make our dreams come true or get to the inner growth that we all need to have. Such as being grateful, sincere, kind, forgiving, patient, etc. It gives me a better vision of myself because I can keep track of my tiny progression or if i am stalling. I consider it as the most reliable assessment of my own persona. Awareness takes us to our freedom to compose our own vision or at least the right direction. I look at vision as our capability to see the future events and things that we want to happen (of course with enough efforts) even in the absence of evidence.

The baffling nature of the future for me without noticing it is, when you get to it, it's now. Forty one years ago I'm just a baby. Where did all those years go? How did i get from a frail stage to a teen strong body at one point, to my 20's, 30's, and now to my present bodily condition so quick? ( together with my understanding ) Did I not see all those seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years that had passed by or did i just let it pass through me and miss to cherish every single moment of it? ( or at least savored the happy occasions ) That's how fast it went? 

The time I could barely remember are the ones I know I'm not having inner growth. Because often times it is when the disguise of the wrong things that touches me and reminded me to grow. Seems like the unfairness of it makes it all fair in the name of growth. At the same time the wrong behavior I have given to others took me to the same conditions that nudged me to make adjustments on how I should respect my self and others.

For some it is difficult to see the message of it, others have increased their sensitivity in abiding on it. Either way, whether you look at it or look away from it, it will be the recurring theme of our life. Playing blind without care or looking at it from within? From the time you have read the title of this post to the last word you will be reading that registers in your thought is a time spent. The choice is ours to make, and the time is also ticking. :)

Dark Knight (R.F.)